Monday, 23 June 2008

Kubler-Ross stages of grief

(from Wikipedia, of course)
Denial:
Example - "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening."
Anger:
Example - "Why me? It's not fair!" "NO! NO! How can you accept this!"
Bargaining:
Example - "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything, can't you stretch it out? A few more years."
Depression:
Example - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"
Acceptance:
Example - "It's going to be OK."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."

Currently thinking about this with reference to my childhood. Had a positive but hard session with D today. Lots touched on and discussed, including the spectres I only glimpse faintly at the moment. We talked about whether I want to look more closely at these spectres, and if so how I would do that.

The denial I remember going through in great detail, and for a long time, with my psychologist. I think I got to the point of accepting that what happened wasn't ideal, could have been better. Anger is one I struggle with a lot. Just recognising it is difficult, but I can see how I have turned that anger on myself over the years, which led to (and reflected) my depression. Not sure about the bargaining - mainly because I know there is more I have not faced yet, so bargaining is impossible; I have to be honest with myself and accept things before I can move to that. At the moment I am at grief - shown strongly today. I need to get through that, experience it, and experience the anger turned outward (as I briefly did today). To do that I have to believe it is safe to allow myself to feel and express the anger. I came a step closer to that today, but it was frightening and painful.

1 comment:

mandy lifeboats appeal said...

Hi C

Thanks for the list,

I think I have moved from bargaining back to denial. Ha!