I hide behind a series of masks, but please don't be fooled by them. I appear confident and in control while inside I fear and flounder. Despite the smile my mask displays, my unmasked self is lonely and scared, fearing rejection and disapproval.
I put on my mask daily. It is so familiar to me that it moulds itself to the contours of my face. At times it feels constricting, enfolding, entrapping. Some days I fear I will never be able to remove it. Some days I wonder if there is a real face behind the mask.
I'm afraid to go out without my mask. Few who know me, face to face, have seen my real face. I hide it. I'm ashamed of who and what I am. I long to be real to - but I am afraid my real self is unacceptable.
So I hide behind a series of masks. But please don't be fooled by them.