Sunday, 2 December 2007

Anger part 2

Despite all the wise words of my last post, tonight I feel very unable to cope with the emotions I am feeling again. I don't want all this - the complaint taking so long, D leaving, being in a spiral, feeling overwhelmed, feeling worse than overwhelmed. I'm trying to control it, working on the breathing, but I want to be little and not to have to take decisions or responsiblity. And I want not to be here.

I can't remember how much I have said about my dissociation, but Alice, Elsie and Shula all feel more real than I do tonight.

2 comments:

MMP said...

waving from here....be thinking of you today

Kathryn said...

Sorry to have missed this at the crucial time - but I pray for you daily, and God will have known your needs anyway.
I hope Caroline is to the fore again this morning - but with all that is going on, I'm not remotely surprised that the girls were dominating things last night. Hang on in there, sweetie. Let go of the stuff you can manage to release. It's Advent. We are all waiting in the darkness,but we wait with hope, knowing that the Light will come.
Love and prayers, of course.