Despite all the wise words of my last post, tonight I feel very unable to cope with the emotions I am feeling again. I don't want all this - the complaint taking so long, D leaving, being in a spiral, feeling overwhelmed, feeling worse than overwhelmed. I'm trying to control it, working on the breathing, but I want to be little and not to have to take decisions or responsiblity. And I want not to be here.
I can't remember how much I have said about my dissociation, but Alice, Elsie and Shula all feel more real than I do tonight.