Sunday, 25 November 2007

Cleaning up...

Have hidden some posts from public view. They are still there for me to see - and hopefully that will provide me with the recognition of how it hurts without allowing others to accuse me of attention seeking.

The comments are still there too - and much valued and appreciated.

I still feel much the same - but have managed not to do any more damage tonight.


Kathryn said...

Good for you.
Hugs and prayers for a safe night tonight.

Awareness said...

Caroline.....I sure wish I could sit with hand you cup of kindness and care.

Knowing and doing are so often so distant from one another aren't they? When one's unresolved stuff is thrown back into the light like yours has been (and over a set of months it has been ongoing)the knowing and doing gap widens.

The feeling of being invisible....of not being recognized as significant....that you matter.....I hear you!! It's a combination of feeling abandoned and ignored, and like you when it happens to me (as it continues to do in my work setting) I want to stand up on the chair and have a temper tantrum. Obviously I have been doing some of that, because the powers that be consider me the problem.....the shit disturber. As much as I tell myself that I am not any different than I was.....maybe more vocal (and I have the right to be, AS YOU DO) frigging hurts because they are hitting my panic button......the "she is insignificant" button.

yes, it comes down to you doing the inner work, like D states, but know Caroline that you really arent alone......... you have someone way over across the pond pulling for you and a group of lovely wonderful women in your neck of the woods sending your love and unconditional hugs.

Take care beautiful Caroline.......

I send you a piece of my heart. xo

marcella said...

hugs and prayers - and this is YOUR space, do with it what you think best , we'll understand

Caroline said...

hug and prayers for a good nights sleep tonight - with whatever it takes to bring you some peace,
take care,

Disillusioned said...

Kathryn, Marcella, Caroline - thank you for your love and payers.

Dana - what you describe is how I feel - thank you for putting it into words for me. And thank you for pulling for me.