I'm trying to note this as I see it.
Counselling sessions with J are having a big impact. Yes, the sessions are often tough and I do spiral down from time to time. But I have not missed a single day of work since I started seeing her. The flashbacks have become much less frequent and much less terrifying. I'm not feeling that incapacitating depression, or the anxiety that I was feeling regularly before I started seeing her. When I do encounter them, the periods are fleeting and I have strategies which I can use to try to manage them.
I'm starting to believe it is not all my fault. That's a process and likely to be a lengthy one.
I'm beginning to be able to say no on a more regular basis. I am more inclined to weigh up requests. I'm getting more inclined to express what I want as well - to the surprise of some people, I suspect.
I'm so grateful for her help and support.