Thanks to those who voted on my poll re taking my meds again. You were as divided as I was! However, I decided to start the escitalopram again. To be honest, I'm not sure if it makes any difference, but I have decided, which means at least I can fool myself I am controlling it (and taking control was one of the reasons for stopping). the only side effect i have so far noticed is an immense desire to eat - which is a bit of a bummer, as the other aspect of my life where I was trying to feel in control was eating - and now that is not as clear as it was. At least this way I know I am doing everything I can to look after myself / follow instructions etc. (Although nobody would give me the instruction to take my medications again!)
We go on holiday on Tuesday for a week - I have left some dated posts but don't expect to have internet access while on holiday.