Monday, 21 January 2008


... so much to do and i am not sure where to start.

I want to change but don't know how to. I can see what went wrong but not how to repair it. I can see I need to change the way I think but I don't know how to do it, and I don't know how to learn to recognise my own emotions. How pathetic is that?

I want to help my friend but don't know how to. Her depression scares me because I know how it feels. I feel driven to try to help - but know that doing things is probably not the answer, for her or for me.

I want to do my job well but don't know how to. Especially when we are told "Do this, do that, do the other, and don't forget the monitoring".
But the time to do this, that and the other is not there. Nor is the promised time for the monitoring.
When I ask about this I am made to feel guilty.
And we are told we are not being asked to do more, just to do differently - but nobody will tell me what it is I can stop doing in order to do the new things.

There is too much on this week (something every night) ... and this weekend ... and next week too ... and I am losing my "handle" on what each task is, where and when I need to be.

I just feel overloaded. I want things to stop.


Rainbow dreams said...

Oh Caroline, I know that feeling of too much and not enough time.... but then you have more on top...

However..and I know it might not help.. but have you written it all down individually and identified what you can do, what you logically can't do more, than you already have, what is priority and what can wait.. not forgetting what anyone else could help with..?

and remember that without rest and sleep and looking after you - none of it will get done to your satisfaction...
at times like this the essentials are all that can be done... the rest has to wait...
you WILL get to it.. but it can't all have your attention at the same time - something has to give - you are only human...will only ever be human - and that is enough...
much love, Katie. x

Disillusioned said...

Thank you Katie

The suggestion about writing it all down and prioritising is a good one and something I will try to do this morning.

Trying to do the rest and sleep stuff too - I know it is important. Your comment "at times like this the essentials are all that can be done... the rest has to wait..." is particularly helpful, thank you. I will try to remember that.

marcella said...

sorry it is all so overwhelming at the moment. I'm being forced to slow down and prioritise and it's doing me a lot of good. Somehow I can get so much more done when I don't do so much!! Hope you can slow down and breathe. Thank you soooo much for those exercises

Disillusioned said...

Thanks, Marcella. Glad you found the DBT stuff helpful.
I did some serious prioritising today and it helped - often I "flit" from one task to another, never getting any finished, and by making a list it helped me to identify what really has to be done now and to do it. So I got 4 tasks crossed off my list today.
Have done some work this evening (just stopped) and feel a little more in control - so am hopeful that tomorrow I can clear another couple of things at least. Marking is the one which is piling up, and I have to prioritise it tomorrow before it starts to get really on top of me.
Thanks for the reminder about breathing.