Tuesday, 18 December 2007

There have been 24 "clicks" in response to my email request to look at the previous post.

Two people have contacted me.
One person has promised to look into the situation.

Helen Buckingham has emailed me to say, "I understand that your concerns are being addressed through Paul Mullin, our Chief Executive."
As I responded to Ms Buckingham, that does not seem to be the case.
Mr Mullin has not responded to any of my emails following his reply in which he totally ignored the issues I asked him to reply to. He has not contacted me at all. Given this, I cannot see how he can be addressing my concerns. Rather, he is ignoring them and me. Probably hoping I will go away. It seems extremely rude to me. Given that I have asked him to address specific questions I don't understand why he believes it is acceptable to ignore them and me.

It is also causing me huge stress.

I'm not coping well.

I'm having massive episodes of dissociation. I can't stay with it at all. There's worse too. Won't post it here.

Thank you to those of you who have shown kindness and support. There have been some within BLPT who have done so too. Unfortunately you don't seem able to influence anything. And I am not sure I can cope with it any more. I know it seems ridiculous, incomprehensible to many of you that i can't just leave it, stop fighting. But I don't understand - I don't understand, I really just don't understand why a mental health organisation believes it is OK to ignore questions they have promised, in writing to answer. How is that OK? Can anyone help me to understand that, please? Please? PLEASE?

It gets harder to hang on. especially knowing D is leaving. I'm not coping well with that. I have to get to know a new person. What if she decides to go away as others have done? What if she is absent? I'm scared, really scared.

I need to talk to someone but I am scared to pick up the phone.


MMP said...

your request carries the weight of a single service user.

combined weight,
or weight propelled by a greater force
may have a desirous effect
and can be shown to be impartial

which, for instance, neither I nor you could possibly be!

This comes with love, hugs and hopes
for a period of calm to occasionaly rest around you over the next few days

Disillusioned said...

I'm told I am being irrational.

But it all seems rational to me.

I was told certain questions would be answered.
They weren't answered.

I asked for them to be answered.
I got a response but the questions still were ignored.

I asked again for them to be answered.
My request has not been responded to.

I asked other people to try to find the answer for me.

It seems rational to me.
I'm told it's not.

I'm worried in case I am losing touch with reality.

I could go to the HCC but I am not sure I am strong enough to do that any more.
And what do I do if they ignore me too?

It's as if someone who has never met me has decided that the label of "mentally ill" excuses any behaviour on the part of other people and means that anything I say should be discounted.
But that ignores the other labels which I carry, and mostly carry well:

I am all these things.
You can't jsut pick one label to describe me.
And you can't descirbe all my behaviour as that of someone who is mentally ill.
Remove the mental illness label and I think most of my behaviour is rational.
What do you think?
Is it rational to keep seeking an answer when the answer has been promised?

Rainbow dreams said...

Caroline - have just got in and emailed you...

pick up the phone if you need to...
please, x