OK so I admit it. Tis all impossible. merging the pieces of my life, the broken bits, with the me other people see - the me I let them see, the me I want them to see - that is impossible.
Seems I have a choice. I have to choose. Am I the broken one or the 100% fine one? Am I the jigsaw or capable and coping?
I've tried to be coping. Tried to ignore the cracks, the joins. Tried to pretend they are not there. But they are.
Tired of disappointing people. Tired of letting them down, wasting their time. Tired of believing it will be OK. Maybe it won't. Maybe it can't be. So what then?
Can you accept me as broke? Can you sit with me knowing that I may never be whole? Maybe you can, but most people around me can't. So tell me, what is the best thing to do? Disappoint them (and myself) for the rest of my time here - or put a stop to it all now?