I have spent all afternoon doing work related stuff. I didn't cook. but then, I have felt "poorly sick" today. Not sure how much is a reaction - feels like i have had a migraine, bad head and queasy all day.
I should probably contact my CPN again but am scared to for all sorts of reasons. Our last meeting was difficult, on both sides I suspect. I was very dissociative. She has left it to me to contact her. I can't reach out easily at the moment. Just to add to the problem, I don't know where she is any more. The teams have all changed, and part of me is scared to contact her because there is a very good (read "very bad!") chance that she has moved to the team where I had huge problems, which I never want to be associated with again. When I saw the psychiatrist he said he would make sure I was allocated to the other team and that I might well have a new CPN, but I have heard nothing. I asked D, my previous CC who has always been really supportive, to find out whether he had managed this, but I have heardnothing from either of them as yet. I don't want to pester and I am afraid of the answer.
I see J tomorrow, which is good.
I was due to see my GP this week, but I have had to postpone that due to our school open evening.
I'm due to see my psychiatrist again (trusting that he will continue to see me, as he promised) next month.
I have cleared a few things from my to do list, including some quite major tasks like writing up my consultancy work. I managed to plan all my lessons, which is a weight off my mind. Tomorrow I will be able to get home early. On Tuesday there is a consultancy related meeting that i could go to, but quite probably won't. It's optional. On Wednesday I have a decidedly non-optional Open Evening at school. Thursday I have a course rather than my usual consultancy day, and Friday will be the usual manic full day of teaching.