Saw him today - he was good but there are too many changes highlighted for me and some I can't cope with.
The essence is that the Community mental health teams in my area have been reorganised from three to two and the team I was with no longer exists. What is more, this would put me back into the team where I had previous "difficult" encounters, particularly the manager of that team. to add to that, my psychiatrist, who I trust and respect, told me he doesn't think he will be doing outpatient clinics any more.
Like I said, too much change.
He has told me he will continue to see me. I hope this does work out, because I really don't think I can cope with a change of consultant. He has also told me he will ensure I am assigned to someone in the "other" CMHT - ie, not the one where I have a history of problems. I hope this will be the case, but I am very very anxious now about both.
The fact that I got so upset was revealing to me of the state I am in. It shouldn't have mattered. But it does.
Now feeling very wobbly; trying to work out exactly what has been triggered by this and why and then hoping I can maybe work out what to do about it all.