Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Grey

It all feels very grey at the moment. No sparkles. Just a hard slog.

Lots of possible reasons. No idea which to lay most store by.
new meds
the "newness" of term gone
uncertainty re the consultancy (OK, maybe I shouldn't worry, but I do)
"tough stuff" in therapy (when isn't it?)
less light
time of the month
doing too much (so what else is new lol)

I need to sleep. I need a break from the anxiety (which doesn't seem attached to any one thing). I need a holiday in the sun lol. Oh for the money and the time to do just that. As it is I am doing very little - becoming a couch potato, not exercising, not really eating very well, drinking (probably) too much, finding it hard to do things for me. Could do with someone to come and run my life for me for a while, to tell me, "OK, these things are important and these don't matter".
I'll get through. It just seems very dreary at the moment and on a downward slope.

Had a lovely e-card from J today, to encourage me. I wanted to cry, but wouldn't let myself. I don't really understand either of those reactions.

Ignore me. Hopefully I (or at least my mood) will go away.

5 comments:

Catherine said...

*rides up in shining armor* I shall not ignore thee!

I feel like I am going through the same thing right now. Too bad we don't live near each other - we could share a couch!

MMP said...

your mood could do what it wants , but I for one would rather you didn't go away ( if you don't mind)

Disillusioned said...

That would be good, Catherine! Sorry you are going through the same stuff.

MMP - Thanks. I'll try not to.

Mandy said...

Whilst there is still a choice, C

then I choose NOT to ignore you.

No magic wand here..sorry about that... but in the spirit of your blog title, I will go with the downs as well as the ups

xx

Disillusioned said...

Thank you Mandy.