Monday, 9 June 2008

Heading in the right direction


I've had a good day today.

This morning I was on a course, where I learnt some really useful stuff about one of our current school projects (learning platforms). now I know how to do many more useful things!

This afternoon I taught one lesson - actually, that was hard because it was so hot in the ICT room. Our air conditioning can't be switched on at the moment (long story!) and it really is unbearable teaching in there. Nothing to be done at the moment, so just have to get through it. It isn't good though - and will be even worse tomorrow with year 8 pupils in there.

After work I had a session with D. That was really good. Very positive. I'm feeling very positive at the moment - back to where I was last year before things went so disastrously wrong. We talked about the process of getting back here; why it has been hard, the idea of having to relearn trust, having to realise that the proper processes do work in my current CMHT and that the support will be there if I do need it again. Believing that makes me able and willing to let go of the support, albeit gradually.

There were painful parts too to the session. There are still hard things to look at, difficult things to process. But it doesn't feel so terrifying now. There's a sense of safety, a sense that it will be OK. Looking back at correspondence has made me realise what I have survived and that, in turn, is giving me a sense of myself as capable of coping. As long as I don't get anything heavy thrown at me, of course - and as long as this gradual withdrawal of support happens safely.

3 comments:

Rainbow dreams said...

am pleased it's all going in the right direction - I'd say you are good at coping - just looking at what you've coped with is remarkable...and pleased you can see it too, Katie,x

marcella said...

Katie's right - you are very good at coping. Do you know what my first thought was when you posted your "information" thread? Bl**dy he** they've sent it on a FRIDAY again. But you coped. You used the weekend for reflection and relaxation. You used Monday for learning and working. WELL DONE - I'm not at all sure I could have done it

Disillusioned said...

Thank you both.

To be fair, the person who collated the information did check whether it was OK to send it on a Friday, and I said it was. I was expecting it on the Monday following but I know she worked hard to get it to me on time / early.

I'm glad I coped - and am coping.