A post here has me thinking again on this.
I find it almost impossible to recognise anger in myself (though I am hyper-alert for any signs of it in others). My first hint of anger towards others seems to be immediately redirected at myself. It is translated into guilt, self-punishment, self-hatred.
Where did I miss out on the lesson of recognising this emotion in myself? Actually, I think it is not so much that I missed this lesson but that I learnt other lessons too well. It's rather like the way we were taught that Pluto is a planet. Even though cosmologists now tell us it is not, some of us still rattle off "My very educated mother just served us nine pizzas" when asked the names of the planets. If the pizzas are not there any more, what do we put in its place? How do we make a new statement of our understanding? If I am to learn that suppressing and denying my anger is not the best way to proceed, what do I put in place of this previous understanding? Indeed, how do I make sense of a new "universe" where the previous rules ("anger is dangerous") are apparently wrong?