Good day...

I met with my new CPN today and it went really well. The things she wanted to talk about were largely the same as those I wanted to talk about, and we talked about the other things on my list too. I said how I felt that i have been punished for complaining initially - she didn't contradict me or say she was sure that hadn't happened, just acknowledged my feelings.

D (my psychologist) had, she said, talked about me at the team meeting they had on Monday and said how hard I had worked. She came in with a positive, supportive attitude. She has given me the name of someone who I can contact when she is on holiday in a couple of weeks, and will draw up a summary sheet before she goes. She will write what we agreed and send it to me.

We talked about changing psychiatrists and agreed that I probably don't need to see any psychiatrist at the moment - but if I do need to in future, I can as their team makes sure there are emergency appointments available.

She didn't have my records as they only arrived this morning, but will bring them next time - I explained that I would like to see what has already been recorded about me. Similarly she will send the care plan and the risk assessment. I can email her but she will not reply - she doesn't like using emails, would rather do it f2f or ont he phone. That's OK as she has given me the ability to contact her, with details of how I can get in touch through an alternative number of I need to speak to her that day and she is not in the office.

She said that her team works differently to other CMHTs in the area. That's obvious! They have clear systems and routies, such as agreeing with me what helps if I am triggered and them having a list of these things to remind me if I need it. They record things. They cover for people who are away.

It's hard to trust that it can be good, that I can rely on them. I'm trying to, but it is hard.