Friday, 27 March 2009


I don't have any words left in me.
J is away this weekend. It shouldn't matter but it does.

One more week of term left. For me, that is 3 teaching days. (I don't teach on Thursdays as I do my consultancy work, and on Friday we have "activities").

E is 17 tomorrow. 17! Every time I look at photos of my neice (now 18 months) I see E. The resemblance is uncanny. How can E be 17?

I would like to hide away for a long time.


Mandy said...

Hi C

More from what you aren't writing than what you are sense you aren't feeling too good.

The words thing. Well they will either come or they won't and even when they do come is up to you if you share them.

Perhaps is time for self protection but, in that, hoping that the counselling is still providing a positive space for you.

I know, own experience, it can be difficult to get support when it is needed and that sometimes the support that is offered comes with demands that are difficult to meet.

Am here and won't judge you.

Take care there

Catherine said...

I'm off soon myself -- care to hide together? We'll each take a watch and protect the other from unwanted intruders.

Disillusioned said...

Thanks Mandy.

It's a bit of a struggle, inside and out, at the moment.

I think self protection is much needed - roll on the Easter holidays. Counselling is helping hugely - thank you.

Disillusioned said...

Thanks Catherine.

Yes, let's watch each others' backs shall we!

Hope the end of your term comes rapidly.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

Just found your blog and am enjoying it. I especially related to this sentence in your, "About me" section:

A "messy human", wishing to be visible and yet invisible, cherishing my differences but longing to fit in.

theMuddledMarketPlace said...

here's to a few days of less pressure

then the hols?

Disillusioned said...

Thanks, Handsome (!)

Disillusioned said...

Oh yes, MMP!