Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Too much to do

Today I ended up crying at work again. Three times.
There is so much to do and I put so much pressure on myself to do it all, particularly when other people are involved. I can see that I put so much of myself into my lessons, into my interactions with other staff, trying to help them etc. It really shouldn't surprise me that I end up shattered. Today the straw which broke me was saying no, and feeling I had disappointed other people. It is hard. I can't seem to break it.
More positively, I did open up to a friend at work and she had some good suggestions. I haven't followed them through tonight, but have arranged for my husband to take the girls to school tomorrow (it's my consultancy day) which will give me an hour or more clear to get somethigns (including my head) a bit more together. I hope!


theMuddledMarketPlace said...

good first move there

La-reve said...

Sorry things got on top of you but well done for realising and giving yourself space to try and put things right. I think the fact you have a lot to deal with and still are workign and worrying about others is a real achievement even if it is easier to think of the failures.

Take Care

Lareve x

Jessica said...

Thank you for remembering me.
I'm sorry that things are looking low for you too. But I know that you are trying very hard for yourself and others. I'm glad that the med change are working out for you.

I hope you would feel better today.

Take care

CalumCarr said...

Oh, D!

That you are working is hugely impressive. Yes, it stretches and pulls you but you are doing it.

Remember just how big this is.

That occasionally it becomes too much is not really surprising.

Take great care.


Rainbow dreams said...

Hope today has been easier - you did well to let your husband take the girls in and to open up to a friend, to trust enough to do that is good...

Hope you are able to focus on the really essential and leave the things that aren't going to be so vital, I know it's hard to do that, noone is superwoman even if we want to be, love from me here, xx

Disillusioned said...

You are all right. I need to recognise what I am achieving - and it is hard to do. I also need to slow down - and that is even harder!