Tears at work Friday and today. Today lasted for a long time. Looking back from the end of the day I can see it was not the disaster I felt it was at lunch time, but what is going on is a really difficult thing for me to do at any time, and being as I am not at the moment at my strongest - that just makes it harder.
Had extra session with J tonight after work. That helped. Settled a few things down a bit, I hope, and gave me some additional strategies to try. I need to slow things down a lot right now - and everything is coming at me in a huge rush. Feels overwhelming.
I feel I am talking in riddles. Will try to make it a bit clearer. I dissociate quite a bit - usually only in therapy sessions, when it is "safe" to do so. Recently the dissociation has felt overwhelming at times, with thoughts of the past dominating. I need to regain a focus on here and now and to slow down the reminders of the negative aspects of the past. It's proving hard to achieve. I also need to keep a focus on healthy ways of coping, and not resort to the less healthy ones.
All tough right now.