Monday, 21 July 2008


Why am I still not taking my antidepressants?

Answers on a postcard please.

The only thing is, while answering that question you also have to point me to a source of support local to me which can help me to tackle the abuse issues which have brought me to the above situation.

All agencies and individuals I have approached have (reluctantly, in many cases) come to the conclusion that none exists.


mandy lifeboats appeal said...

Having been abused, although not to the extent I have heard that others have been put through, I can share my experiences of flashbacks and trying to come to terms with what happened, C, but not with any desire to say what is best for you....only to show that it most probably isn't the same for everyone how they deal with that but I bet some of the phobias, fears and horrors are.

I have a recurrant feeling of utter helplessness as I did at the time. Of feeling totally at the mercy of some phantom that is waiting in the wings to pounce on me and hurt me more. I also many a time feel that there is absolutely nothing I can do to overcome this nor the damage that it did.

However, even in my state of dissaray and constant fluxing, there is goodness that I find (in myself) and kindness and love and care in others.

As you know I gave up on therapy, mostly because it was taking me to bad places that I had no way of maintaining outside of the therapy environment. I guess i could not be held long enough and then leaving that environment, I sort of went awol.

I do not write this to put you off therapy. I believe therapy can and does a large amount of good but it depends on the individual (as well as the therapist and type of therapy) and what coping skills the individual already has in place when they start therapy.

One of the real horrors about dealing with damage is that there aren't enough 'appropriate' therapists and therapies available. So people who feel ready to look at issues and/or want to move to a better place with help, aren't getting it. I do think trauma and abuse are not priorities for services to be dealing with but they damn well should be.

Sending hugs. I feel pretty much like an emotional/support eunuch here. I would like to be able to do more.


There and Back said...

I really wish I could think of something useful to say, but I can't so I too am sending hugs.

Sounds like you're in a really difficult place at the moment. I know of a really good organisation for vicitms of abuse but it's a local charity (to me) and thus wouldn't be local to you. They do have a annual newsletter though - I could pass on the details to you.

Disillusioned said...

Thank you.

Unfortunately I seem to have established beyond reasonable doubt that there are no local services for me in this area. So say all the national charities (NAPAC, SANELINE, etc etc) and all the helplines I have contacted, together with all the local professionals I have asked (haven't yet been able to contact my GP). Looks like I am up ^£%! creek without a paddle here, and no lifeboat in sight.