Wednesday, 9 July 2008


Saw D tonight. Next time is our last session. Not a good point for the major flashback I had today. Am very scared, very wobbly and wanting it all to stop. I didn't choose this. I agreed with d that we would not do things which might cause upset before our times together stopped and then this came up> I had already said I didn't want to go there, didn't want to look at those issues at the moment, wanted a break from the intense therapy work. then it happened, and now I am thrown into confusion by vivid new memories. Please pray or send positive thoughts or whatever because this is hard.


marcella said...

sending prayers

Disillusioned said...

Thank you.

Have called all the helplines I can find that are relevant. all are closed or busy.

guess it is a sign of some kind.

I want to block it all out.

What do you all thing of Valium + sleeping tablets + antidepressants + alcohol?


Me neither. But options seem to have run out. No idea how else to deal with all this, but I will be careful(ish)

Seratonin said...

Sorry to hear you are not too good.
Sending hugs & love.

Sis xxx

marcella said...

Don't think all four together would be a good idea at all - but valium on its own? I've come to rather respect the little blue pills and think they have a place when anxiety gets too much.
Prayers continuing.

There and Back said...

Sorry to hear how much you are struggling at the moment. I really hope things improve in the coming days.

Kathryn said...

Out till far too late last night...have only now caught up with your email and worked out that the message on teh landline was you as well. I do, though, continue to pray for you morning and evening and am hoping that valium enabled sleep and that today is better.
Take care xx

mandy lifeboats appeal said...

If all other helplines are non contactable, you have mine and I don't go near any danger zones. Quite a good listener in spite of my public persona. Am here if you need me.

You know life is a bitch and then I realised I had become one. :>)

Disillusioned said...

Thank you all.

Seratonin - hugs much appreciated. Just wish I could cash in on some real ones.

Marcella - the little blue pills did help. the other stuff perhaps wasn't as useful.

there and back - thanks; I hope so too.

Kathryn - that's OK.

Mandy, thank you.

werehorse said...

I'm glad things are helping a bit, and prayers things ease further x

Disillusioned said...

Thanks, werehorse