Can't seem to get any idea how to find someone to work with me on the abuse issues. The national organisations (whose helplines have been, and continue to be, great) have no local contacts in my area.
So I've got to go it alone. Am stopping the anti-depressants so I can think clearly and react as me. Probably this will force me to feel the emotions that so far I have kept locked up. Maybe it will get me over this disbelief hump, where i don't trust my memories. Or maybe it will convince me that my "memories" were false. Term has ended, so some stress is removed, and I have been cutting down one antidepressant and was due to stop it very soon anyway. We shall see what we shall see.
I'll carry on using the help lines, and the self help books, and hope to come out this the other end - because there doesn't seem to be much of an option really. Prayers welcomed.