Saturday, 19 July 2008

Risky behaviour / desparate behaviour

Can't seem to get any idea how to find someone to work with me on the abuse issues. The national organisations (whose helplines have been, and continue to be, great) have no local contacts in my area.

So I've got to go it alone. Am stopping the anti-depressants so I can think clearly and react as me. Probably this will force me to feel the emotions that so far I have kept locked up. Maybe it will get me over this disbelief hump, where i don't trust my memories. Or maybe it will convince me that my "memories" were false. Term has ended, so some stress is removed, and I have been cutting down one antidepressant and was due to stop it very soon anyway. We shall see what we shall see.

I'll carry on using the help lines, and the self help books, and hope to come out this the other end - because there doesn't seem to be much of an option really. Prayers welcomed.

4 comments:

marcella said...

prayers being sent - and as someone who refused a second prescription of an SSRI from my old/new doc (long story not worth listening to) last week I can see where you're coming from. All the best

marcella said...

Just popped back to say that that should read "I THINK I can see where you're coming from" - of course I don't know. My own flashbacks are very minor and centre round my own well documented behaviour rather than anyone else's actions towards me, and there's no question of abuse - it must be so much harder for you, but I THINK I can understand why you want to try to face it without the tinted glasses of an anti-d

mandy lifeboats appeal said...

Hi C

I read you are making some drastic changes.

As someone who doesn't believe the antipsychotics are helping me one bit can understand your desire to come off anti depressants (if you don't think they are helping you). However, I wouldn't advise coming straight off them...the side effects of that can be horrific. Perhaps going for a lower amount and weaning off over a month to 2 month period would be better. Although am not in a position to tell you anything..just trying to look out for a bit.

Sorry things are so damn rough.

Sending a hug

Catherine said...

Thinking of you . . .