An exhaustingly long day here.
Still moving in the right direction I think, though it often feels like I am standing still.
Had copies of my clinical notes from my current team today which were (in contrast to other notes) fair and truthful and unbiased and complete and organised. That helped massively. I've asked to see my other file, the one from BE CMHT. However, I'm told that request has to go through the "Caldicott Guardian" - though D had no issue with me seeing them before, and appeared to have no reservations about me seeing them now. In a world of confusion and lies, secrecy is the most powerful weapon, it seems.
Attended joint meeting which had elements of difficulty but which turned out to be helpful and positive and fair, and I think I was able to say things which I didn't believe I could. I know I was listened to and supported.
D leaves her post in the CMHT tomorrow. we talked today about it being an opportunity to experience positive endings and changes, but also acknowledged that going through the changes feels very vulnerable. At the moment I can't imagine being able to phone someone new for help if I am struggling.
Trying to balance being real and keeping up appearances.