Saturday, 19 January 2008

Interesting quote...

From birth the key to psychological growth is the ability to master control over your emotional and behavioural states. Initially the child learns how their carers comfort them when upset. Then they discover that when their carer isn't around, they can comfort themselves. Initially these will be physical methods (rocking, sucking their thumb, humming, stroking their hair), but later there will be cognitive strategies. If these skills are not developed then when a crisis occurs the person will feel helpless and out of control - and self-harm may be the only way they can find to restoring control.


D and I have been touching on a developmental stage which it appears I may have missed, somewhere along the way. This quote really ties in with those conversations, and I really want to find more about it, and more about how to progress things. Still trawling the Internet for further gems which may help me to do both of these things.


mandy lifeboats appeal said...

Learning to look after the self, when key things were missing in the developmental stage. Hey, C, you don't go for the light stuff here do you?

I guess that is why I kept ending up in 'psycho analysis' and different (that somehow seemed the same or hit sharp dead ends) talking therapies.

You know I couldn't even tell someone what what missing from my development..all I know is I go so far and then fall in a big hole and it is back to sucking my thumb again.

There is a song by Boy George called "Generations of Love". It is about the stuff being passed from one generation to the next..or not as is more likely the case in regards to comprehensive care. Then again, who is perfect. I think everyone is dysfunctional but not all in the same way (as in many can go about daily business with relative ease and/or nothing obviously missing in the armour). And some of us are at the cutting edge of fekked up-ness.

It seems to be a life long journey to maintaining stability and getting somewhere useful for the self (not withstanding responsibilities to family members and the complex kit called love). And then you die.

Ever the optimist me, eh?

But let's not make that a reason to stop trying.


Disillusioned said...

Hi Mandy

Light stuff? Easy stuff? Me? nope, not much! lol.

What you describe is so true of me, though. And it happens so quickly. I was reading how there are two ways in which reactions are triggered - one which goes through the parts of the brain which are associated with thought, memories, logic etc, and the other which bypasses all rationality and is just instinctive. One of my instinctive reactions (in certain types of situations) is to regress and crumble. It's that which I want to understand and change. No easy options here, huh?

mandy lifeboats appeal said...

Hi again C

When you have sussed it. Let me know. Ha! ha!

Dad has done a flit again. After promising he would let me know if we was off....He went and I only found out by going round his place and as I didn't have key to flat had to ring careline.

Duty warden came out (she was smashing) and the police are now involved.

I didn't know what else to do. He is not of sound enough mind to travel about in without getting in a state and then walking miles and burning himself out.

The biggest worry is that he encounters arseholes who will hurt him and take his money (or worse). the second biggest worry is that he loses it, and does something to himself.

Strangely I am not pacing around the room or gnawing at the carpet (well, not yet).

Sometimes, I go into a sort of numby state. I guess there is only so much anyone can take..even a loony with a track record of living so close the edge they have wear patches on the arse of their jeans.


Disillusioned said...

Hi Mandy

Sorry about your Dad. Have emailed you.