Monday, 3 December 2007

What they want

They want me to do another meeting.
I can't do another meeting.

They want me to do a meeting with the CEO.
I've never met him. I can't do it. I'm too scared.

They want the Complaints manager to be there. The one who sent me the first two letters. They want me to talk to her.
I can't do it. She already hates me. I've never met her but she already hates me.

They want me to do another meeting.
I had a meeting. But the things I thought they promised to write weren't written.

They want me to do another meeting and I can't. I just can't. They want me to do another meeting and now it is my fault again because I can't do it any more. But I can't. I can't be brave any more. I can't argue my case any more. I thought I knew what they promised to do. I thought I had I have asked them to do what I needed and I thought they agreed that was fair and right. I don't understand why they keep on making it more difficult for me. Isn't it hard enough already? I just wanted them to write down what they promised to write down. I wanted them to be fair like they said they would. I can't keep explaining what I want again and again. I must be so stupid, because it all seemed clear to me that things went wrong but I must be wrong. Like everyone has always told me, from when I was little, I don't understand. I misunderstand. I get it wrong. I'm so stupid, like they always told me.


Rainbow dreams said...

Caroline...You're not stupid, you do undertand, you are not wrong... you are right and what you ask is fair and reasonable... you are logical( from what I have seen).
It's hard especially when people have told us things from being very young and we start to believe them... but that doesn't mean we should believe them...

They are messing around - could you write them a letter telling them how it is.. what you hoped they were going to do, reminding them of what they promised, telling them how detrimental all this drawn out saga is being to you and the need to concentrate on you rather than the actual complaints procedure.. focusing on what is really important - YOU - and that if they can't put your needs first then you have to...
and add anything at all you want to say to them in it.
send it so that they have to sign for it when it arrives... that way they have to hear what you say and there is proof they received it...

you have endured enough meetings and to what end? I'm stuck with how to get them to meet you even half way.. in fact the language I am thinking of isn't typable...
I do think it all sounds terribly unprofessional...
hugs and love

Caroline said...

First - hug and love and prayer.

1. you are not stupid - far from it
2. if you do nt understand that would seem to be because it is incomprehensible and not through any fault, or failing on your part.
3. you have and are continuing to argue your case. You have done so very eloquently in this blog entry. how about sending the words you ahve written here, as they are, to them?
4. do you still have an advocate (of sorts) who could support with a further meeting?
5. can you set the ground rules for the meeting - seomwehre where you would be confortable (ie not their offices), at a time convenient for you, with people you invite to support you and a minute taker?
6. do you want another meeting or do you wnat to leave the whole thing as it is and walk away, head held up, knowing that you've gone as afar as you can and have taken control by letting go 9which is as valid as continuing).
7. can you - emotionally and financially) afford to obtain advice and assitance from a mental health or community care specialist legal advisor who could proceed with your complaint for and with you.

hug love and prayers

marcella said...


You are NOT stupid. You are caught up in a stupid system, that's all. And unfortunately, so are they. For all we know the CEO may be a well meaning person even if he or she is as stuck in this silly system as we are.

As Caroline has said, you have argued your case very eloquently here, and being sent your words just as they are here would tell any sensible system that they are harming you with THEIR stupidity. Just perhaps, together, we can all help the system to be just a little more sensitive.

Disillusioned said...

I've written the letter. but they have ignored all the previous letters i have sent. they just say what they want to say.

i have asked for read receipts (it is an email). If I don't get them, I suppose I could send it in the post by recorded delivery...

I sent my advocate a copy of the letter i intended to send yesterday but he hasn't acknowledge it and I need to do something.

I have sent them the words of this blog more than once.

i just can't do another meeting. It's impossible. No matter where. With the people suggested, I can't do it. And what is the point? the last meeting they promised all sorts of things and then didn't deliver. I need them to deliver in writing. They won't do it.

I don't want to walk away but I don't know how much more i can take, how much more I can do.

Can't afford professional advice and I don't even think I could try to explain it to anyone else, not any more. It is all feeling too much like I was wrong all along and it is all my fault and I have no right to be asking this.

I had a supporter and they took minutes last time. Everyone agreed the minutes were correct. The promises made in the minutes haven't been kept. I don't know what to do about that.

they may well be very well meaning. But if so, what is stopping them from doing what so many have agreed is the right thing to do?