Thanks all for comments on my last entry.

Went to Church; survived (!) Actually the expectation and fear were the problem, more than the event, but that is the way when confidence is dented.

Have spent too much time planning and marking etc today and still have a backlog to tackle tomorrow when I get into school.

Demons still present - very much sparked off by all the stuff over the CMHT complaint. Meeting promised with 2 directors from the trust and that causes anxiety about what will be said. Not sure I can think of anyone I can ask to come with me. Plus the promised statistical information has still not appeared. It seems nothing happens (even with the most well meaning of staff) unless I personally chase it up. I'm tired of doing so but, like a dog with a bone, can't seem to put it down. I just want closure.

Thinking about possibilities for someone to attend meeting with me.
Do I need anyone? (probably yes, for moral / emotional support).
Who is the best person. I could have an advocate, but it would be a stranger so not much help for the emotional support (which may well be the thing I need most). I could ask my pastor. I wondered about asking whether D, the psychologist, would be prepared to come but think it probably wouldn't be allowed. Can't think of anyone else to ask. Suggested to W he might but he wasn't keen (and might not be the best to offer me emotional support in such a situation). I'll probably end up going alone.

Meet tomorrow with my CPN to look at my records from the previous team. Very anxious about that and about my ability to cope with it.