Friday, 28 September 2007

Response letter

Got home to find the response letter from the Trust.

I'd tried to prepare myself but even I wasn't prepared for the totality of this whitewash.

The final paragraph sums it up, really:
"I would like to explain that the above comments are not different to what was stated in my initial response to you. Please note that there is nothing additional this investigation can add, as the response will remain the same from the managers."

It's still all my fault.
They are still not admitting they have done anything wrong.
They are stating the view that it was entirely reasonable for M to investigate a complaint against herself.
They have not looked at my notes to gain a larger perspective.
They've once again left me in pieces.

And, of course, it is Friday evening. My care co-ordinator is not at work. Neither are either of the other two workers who know me and know about me. The Assistant Director I am due to see on Tuesday is not at work for me to discuss with her whether there is any point in meeting on Tuesday - if it is going to be yet more of the same, I can't see the point. The letter was not even signed by the Chief Executive, but by the same deputy who signed off the initial response. My husband doesn't know how to discuss it with me, doesn't want to see me upset, thinks I should just forget about it. But it is eating me up. I have phoned the advocacy service and hope someone may be able to attend the meeting on Tuesday. I'm not sure that will do any good. They suggested putting off the meeting to allow us to talk about the situation, but i really can't do this - I need to keep moving on with it. At least if I feel I am doing something I know I have not given up. But part of me wants to give it up. the thing is, I have put so much of myself into this, and giving up feels like accepting that they are right. And, deep down, a part of me insists they are not right. But what if they are? What if I am wrong? What if I really have ben unreasonable and my expectations are totally out of line? Where does that leave me?
I'm falling apart at the moment. Thank goodness for Valium - and alcohol.


Rainbow dreams said...

What a pathetic response...
You have to know inside of you that it isn't your fault - no matter what they say...and hang onto that.

You are not wrong...and don't sound unreasonable.
Expectations of truth, justice and care from a service that would advertise itself as a caring service are normal expectations anyone would have...The service and the Trust has failed you...but you are not at fault...
You deserve to be looked after, need to be looked after, and need to look after yourself.
hugs and love,
you are precious,

Caroline said...

thinking of you

Awareness said...

Good morning Caroline. I have been reading and shaking my head over here wondering what I could write that would be supportive and helpful....

I'm pretty sure your weekend has been a write off as you put in time waiting for your meeting and wondering if it's worth it.

Let me echo Katie.....the treatment you continue to receive is beyond the pale! You are unfortunately caught in an ass covering that includes them washing there hands over and over with anything to try to make them clean.

Know that your request and your assertiveness is completely legitimate!! Know that your approach has been commendable!! Know that you have had EVERY RIGHT to be angry and wounded by this circus. All you have been asking for all along is what you rightfully are allowed. You're not asking for the moon.

Prepare yourself for tomorrow by going in with one or two statements which you own......and repeat the damn statements over and over if you need to . They will most likely try to wiggle and jiggle and worm out of it......and try to twist out of any commitments because they are REPREHENSIBLE.... SO please armour yourself by expecting very little from them at this point, but expecting to have your complaint heard and documented. GO INTO THAT MEETING AND HAVE YOUR SAY.....DON'T LET THEM INTERUPT YOU OR REDIRECT YOU UNTIL YOU HAVE HAD YOUR SAY.

The trust is gone for them to help you in any way, don't you think? I can't imagine that you could trust them with any of your needs at this point. How ironic this organization is called TRUST??!!

Your goal is to follow up and follow through with this meeting and then walk out with your head held high. Right? No expectations that they will do anything except more of the same. Still it's important to put your complaints on the table as a way identify this charade for what it has been......

If you need ongoing support and can seek it out in a MUCH more trusting and loving environment.......not with these idiots.

I hope I havent been too direct with my suggestions. MY GOD, I wish I could knock on your door and invite you out for a cuppa tea and a long morning chat......

Hugs to you Caroline.....and a kiss on the forehead for good luck! Remember you are never alone. never........

Caroline said...

thinking praying and sending hugs

Caroline said...

Thanks all.

Meeting tonight. I have an advocate going with me. I've also had reassurances that this will not be "more of the same". I'm trying to believe them but am very anxious.