I'm shattered. And it's only Monday.
It's physical exhaustion, though, which is SO different from depression that I want to shake people who have tried to tell me, "You're just tired" in the past, when what I was feeling (and trying to convey) was my sense of desolation. While I'm at it, I'd also like to inflict physical harm on those people who talk about being "a little bit depressed"...
Let's not get started on the ranting - I could go on forever. Actually, I have realised the difference in value between ranting and moaning. There's a lot of moaning goes on in our staffroom, and it drags me down. I get drawn into it too, and don't realise till later how it is a negative process. A good rant is cathartic, specific, venitlating. Moaning just drives the problem deeper.
So, I'm shattered, physically tired. But the teaching went well (four lessons today, and I survived!) and the meeting at elder daughter's school about the shortcomings in her music teaching was a fairly positive experience, with indications of things which are happening and can happen in the future. Let's hope some of them do... fortunately said daughter has oodles of determination and will probably do well in spite of less than ideal circumstances.
I've had a massage and am accepting this exhaustion with a determination to watch some (actually interesting-sounding) television tonight, and do some knitting. I'm even managing NOT to get stressed about the letter from the bank and have passed it on to H. And tomorrow I don't have to teach until the afternoon, so that is good too!
mind you, it keeps raining....
I'm a rambling mass of inconsistencies, some hidden and some all too apparent. A "messy human", wishing to be visible and yet invisible, cherishing my differences but longing to fit in.
Blogs I read
- A Fortunate Man
- A Long Walk to Forever
- Awareness
- Dare to Dream
- Fighting the Urge
- Frolicking Through Llife
- Good in parts
- I'm a Medical Student...
- Lake Cocytus
- Mandy
- Marcella
- Medicines, Animals and a Dream
- Mental nurse
- Mouse
- Nearly time
- Neenaw
- One Pedestrian Away
- Pip
- Pole to Polar
- Police Inspector Blog
- Rainbow Dreams
- Random Acts of Reality
- Rufus May
- Schizophrenia - a Carer's Story
- Seratonin
- The fight for Mrs Carr
- The muddled marketplace
- There and Back
- Traumaqueen
- Useless CPN
6 comments:
huge hug!
massage sounds like such a good idea...
thx caroline
how's the bike going?
Massage was great - I recommend!
Hope you're enjoying the interesting TV and relaxing now. The massage sounds a very good idea.
Just finished watching - need to turn off and go to bed (the hardest part of my day sometimes).
My fortnightly massage is a more or less essential part of my well-being.
you are so right about the difference between ranting and moaning.........get the anger out and move on is how a good rant should feel. Moaning is just like whining, and nothing drives me more crazy than a kid whining, except perhaps adults stuck on the same tune all sitting in the same room!! yeah, i'd avoid that place. you won't catch me in the coffee room here too for the same reason. who needs it?
Dana, I am sure you are right. The regret is those occasional moments of companionship... That and the fact that I know I have a tendency towards avoidance of social situations and so must not give in to that too much. finding that balance point,a s every, is vital. however, at the moment I know I need to do the immediate - and being in the staff room often (not always) drags me down in the short term, so for the short term I need to limit my time there.
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