Return to work meeting

The meeting went OK, I think. Positive outcomes were that it was agreed I will not have a tutor group next year (which will remove a lot of stress) and that the phased return was agreed. Uncertainties remain over whether an online reporting of faults format will be adopted.
Less satisfactory was the insistence of the head on seeing it as solely my problem, my weakness, and not accepting that the culture of the school has anything to do with how I am at all. There was also no willingness to address the issue of the technician's attitude - in fact, the head commented that we both "have strong personalities". I did challenge his comment that there was "give and take" in our relationship by saying that I think I do much more giving. I discussed this with my psychotherapist today and we agreed that actually I am a doormat too often and rarely initiate conflict. However...
The head was also very annoyed that his confrontational approach and raised voice (actually shouting at staff) in meetings were mentioned and denied this entirely, as he did my feeling that there was not a culture of praise. No matter that this is a basis of common agreement among staff.
There was no solution proposed to the issue of having somewhere quiet to work, so I think I will have to buy some big headphones ot wear while working, to (a) make it clear to other staff that I am working and (b) eliminate external noise.
A possible place for me to retreat to for 10 minutes during lunch was suggested, but this is an office which I might have to negotiate over (though it is not in constant use).

All in all it wasn't the perfect outcome, but has perhaps confirmed to me that the head is not willing to consider criticism of management style and practises. I discussed it at my psychotherapy session and have come to the opinion that it says more about him than me, and that most of the issues I raised are confirmed as issues for many other staff, so it can't just be me!

In other news, I met H for lunch in town, and then had an enjoyable time buying yet more old jeans to recycle (as bags). I went into Body Shop to buy some lipstick and ended up having a (free) makeover - and then buying lots of new cosmetics. Very extravagant, but i must admit the cosmetics she used on me did make me feel (and, according to family, look) good and so was a real confidence boost. I'm working on the "as if" theory - try to look and behave "as if" you value yourself.

During my psrychology sessionI also discussed the end of the sessions with my psychologist, and my feelings of sadness at the end of that relationship and connection. D was very complimentary and also said there was an element of sadness for him too, in wondering how ex-clients were getting on in their own lives.

We looked at my rewritten WRAP plan which he felt was very useful and helpful. I am pleased with it - I think it is also a summary of things I have learnt about myself over the last couple of years.

Thank you all for your encouragement. Now I have 11 clear days before I start going into school again. It's a gentle start though - in the first week I am only doing six lessons on three days, all ICT.