Sunday, 29 April 2007

Reminder to myself

I am not ready to go back to work because:
the thought of having to write reports reduces me to a gibbering wreck;
being in the staffroom causes huge anxiety;
I am struggling to remember simple items (eg more than three numbers) if there is any noise in the vicinity;
I can't tune out "extra" noise to focus on a conversation I am having;
I tire physically after a single activity;
concentration is a struggle;
my moods are swinging all over the place;
I don't believe I can do it.

Now it's written down, maybe it will help me to believe the first statement: "I am not ready to go back to work" - which is what nearly everyone who knows me keeps telling me.

Unless I am just being lazy. That is the fear.

2 comments:

sally said...

No, you are not well enough to go back to work. Believe it. Be kind to yourself and rest. xxx

Disillusioned said...

Thank you Sally.

Going in to school today, and trying to explain a lesson to a colleague in my department made me realise how pathetic I am right now. I couldn't focus, couldn't concentrate. Going to ask GP / psychiatrist whether it is related to the meds. If it is then it is a balancing act - how much do I need the meds to keep (relatively) stable balanced against the need to be able to think straight. Hmm.