new life

I feel that there is a breath of air re-entering my brain. Like buds starting to emerge, part of me is returning to life. I'm beginning to be able to think, to reason on more than a purely emotional level. This brings with it a sense of hope, that maybe I will not feel like this forever. Other feelings and thoughts also accompany this period of growth, however. Alongside the relief there is guilt, and fear; guilt at not being back at work (patience is not my strong suit!) and fear that I will in time have to return. I need to remind myself, too, that this is not "it", this does not signal that I am "all better now". It's the start of a process and, like a mountain ascent, along the way there will be valleys to cross. But it is good to be able to use my brain once more.