Saturday, 5 December 2009


I am so tired, and there is so much to do and so little space to do it in.

Today was spent failing to do Christmas shopping.

The run up to Christmas is so stressful. J being away seems to make it more so. Plus things are tough at work right now.

I want to find ways to release the pressure. In the past I have used "negative" coping methods. I don't want to resort to those again, but I feel like I am running out of options. I'm not even sure I can talk to J about why things have been so difficult when I see her again. There's some internal shut down going on. It's scary.


Kathryn said...

I pray this every night, last thing..
Know yourself held in the prayer

Lighten our darkness, Lord we pray
And by your great mercy defend us
From all perils and dangers of tonight
For the love of your only Son, our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Catherine said...

I believe I understand. Once you close up and shut down, sometimes it is hard to be open again.

Hope things improve.

Disillusioned said...

Thank you Kathryn - it helps to feel held in that prayer.

Catherine - that's exactly how it feels.

La-reve said...

Hi D
Oh dear, I know what your negative coping strategies are. Stay away. Wish I had any other suggestions. Know you are no longer in touc with services, but talk to J and she may be able to help or point you in direction of someone/something that can. x

theMuddledMarketPlace said...

until last week.....

maybe i never fully understood what it is to:

* work fulltime,

* in an environment where one everyone appears to be Under Pressure

* and for there to be (genuinely) Not Enough Time.

Like Kathryn, I love that prayer....