Wednesday, 2 January 2008

Sorry

Just, sorry.

Not getting it at all at the moment.

That's tying in to all kinds of old messages and schemas. Particularly those centring around my stupidity for not being able to understand.

I want to follow the rules. I'm trying to do the "right things". But I don't seem to understand what those are just now.

School tomorrow just feels so impossible. There's a rumour of snow - a really heavy snowfall overnight (of the type which would force our rural school to close due to the impossibility of running bus services) would be very welcome right now - or overnight at least.

But that's me being stupid.

7 comments:

cheekyfaces said...

Please don't keep saying sorry...and you are not stupid.

You don't ever have to apologise for being 'you'....None of us are the same, we're human and different, you are you and you don't need to be sorry about that.

Disillusioned said...

i want to quit.

Kathryn said...

I'm sorry it's all so difficult...that you're finding those charged with helping you are adding to your confusion and pain...that it all adds up to too much.
Know that you are valued by many,and prayed for by people you've never met (including,if you'd like, my congregation - we can only use Christian names, so no threat to anonymity)
There is always hope - even at the darkest times.

cheekyfaces said...

No quitting....ok? Talk.........Just keep talking ok....

Rainbow dreams said...

Caroline, don't be sorry... am thinking and praying and sending love..
have e mailed.. x

Awareness said...

Caroline....i have no magic words.....just know we're all pulling for you.

My goodness, you are a very bright woman. It comes through loud and clear. I think anybody in your situation wouldn't "understand" the convoluted messy system you have had to seek help through.

and if this helps.......well at least to make you smile.....every single person in Canada prays for a snow day when schools remain closed! :) You are definately not wishing for an illogical thing!!

marcella said...

I visited my daughter's university department today and two of the senior admin staff were expectantly looking out of the window hoping for snow and an extra day off - it's normal!
Sorry things are so hard at the moment - hugs from here.