Several people has asked this of me recently.
Truth is, I don't have an answer, except, "Not yet".
It isn't time for me to stop fighting yet because:
There is still more negative written evidence against me than positive; give up now and it feels like I am admitting "they" are right.
There are still others fighting the system and, despite my struggles, I am possibly more able to fight than they are.
Some people are still telling me I am right, and have been right all along.
It shouldn't be like this - rules should be followed and, if they are not, people should be held to account.
It's my responsibility to make things right.
Only I can say how I have experienced this.
I can't stop this runaway train.
I have invested so much energy in this already; if I stop now, all that energy will have been for nothing.
All this pain has to achieve something.
Until I get evidence to the contrary, my heart still tells me this mess is my fault.
I'm still alive. Still breathing. While that is true, I am still fighting. If I stop fighting, maybe I will stop being truly alive.
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2 comments:
From experience ...I guess you'll know when you put this one down.
Either when it's run it's course,
or
when something else is more important.
when that time comes, you will know.
Justice is a very strong theme running through scriptures...we ignore it at our peril
( mind you, we ignore our family at our peril too.
I had to learn that making a call to the mental act commision at tea time did not go down too well with the hungry souls in my home!!)
what you say makes sense...
I would question though whether your head agrees with your heart on it being your fault... we are very quick to take the blame ourselves for things others should...
accountability and justice are important and the system fails many - what you're doing is courageous.
only you will know if it is ever the right time to stop fighting... I'd guess those who have asked you are only asking because they care about you and they recognise how hard it is...
we're still here, hugs and love, Katie,xx
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