...or that's how it feels.
Not sure how it is that all you wonderful strangers, who I only know virtually, can offer me support and encouragement and believe in me, while the people who are paid to (supposedly) give that support professionally (ie CMHT) tell me I am being unreasonable and unappreciative because they have offered all the support they can. Whatever. I've told them I give up. It's not worth fighting over and in fact is making me worse. So there you are. I give up on CMHT - at least until the return of my CPN.
The psychotherapy sessions are "all gone" too. Last one was today. Well, we do have a review session booked in October, but there is no possiblity of further sessions, I said my goodbyes, he said his. All very kind, supportive, encouraging, but it is over. I feel rather like an abandoned child.
I'm so glad you are all cheering for me, believing in me. I don't understand it in the slightest, but I am very grateful.
I'm a rambling mass of inconsistencies, some hidden and some all too apparent. A "messy human", wishing to be visible and yet invisible, cherishing my differences but longing to fit in.
Blogs I read
- A Fortunate Man
- A Long Walk to Forever
- Awareness
- Dare to Dream
- Fighting the Urge
- Frolicking Through Llife
- Good in parts
- I'm a Medical Student...
- Lake Cocytus
- Mandy
- Marcella
- Medicines, Animals and a Dream
- Mental nurse
- Mouse
- Nearly time
- Neenaw
- One Pedestrian Away
- Pip
- Pole to Polar
- Police Inspector Blog
- Rainbow Dreams
- Random Acts of Reality
- Rufus May
- Schizophrenia - a Carer's Story
- Seratonin
- The fight for Mrs Carr
- The muddled marketplace
- There and Back
- Traumaqueen
- Useless CPN
9 comments:
Sorry that it's so hard for you at the moment. Ending a relationship with a therapist can really be difficult, even if you've known it had to happen for a long time. I don't think I've got over the end of our sessions with one of them yet (OK, if you're reading this Kathryn, I KNOW I haven't got over.....)
Your CMHT really sucks. Do keep reaching out to us and get on to that lovely GP of yours the minute he gets back from holiday.
Thinking of you.
Thinking of you, sending positive thoughts to you. I continue to be amazed, speechless at how often the 'caring' professions cease to care.....especially how the mental health services pull out at the drop of a hat, and wonder why people struggle...one can only hope your GP can pull something out of the bag....don't give up asking for what you need! xxx
It isn't you, it really isn't, and not ahving the enrgy to fight any more doesn't have to mean the fighting stops, take care of yourself adn keep reaching out to others who can and will fight for and alngside you. Your therapist may have gone but your gP will (almost certinly!) come back from holiday, keep going, you deserve better and you are worth fighting for.
take care of yourself
They said it all - thinking of you, Katie,x
As above...Here we are....and we know it hurts and is so hard but knowing that is at least partly why we're here.
Hugs and prayers xx
not much i understand too caroline - can i join the club please?
CMMHTs in freefall right across the country.
I know that doesn't make it any better for You right now, but they're all falling apart.
So "All gone" or "All going" we appear to be in this together now.
I've read back over your blog and am utterly amazed.
Like watching an explorer slash her way through the jungle. Sometimes you rest,sometimes you march, sometimes you sleep, but you're getting there.
OK, there may be set backs, you may need to retreat and go another way, but you're doing it.
Sorry yesterday was tough.
Hi Caroline....can I just add that the system in Canada may be called something different than in the UK, but it is as broken.....
As someone who works within another system tied to it, I have seen it from both sides.....and I do not believe it has to do with the numbers....the numbers who require the services and the numbers of service providers, though this always seems to be the argument. IT IS THE SYSTEM....the lack of support for both parties, the lack of linearity with respect to providing a service. It is a bumbly mumbly grumbly system drowning and choking in unhelpful red tape, policies and procedures where NO ONE on the system side ever takes ownership.....
It is an unanchored system.....
I can't believe they tried to put ANY blame on you. Well, I can believe it, because I see it EVERYDAY....anytime anyone (who 99% of the time is utterly justified) tries to criticize or request or protest the service or the service provider, the SYSTEM and the people in it will push the blame away.
Im sorry you've had such a frustrating and stressful time of it with the so called "helping profession...." It is shameful how you've been treated.
hold onto the strides you have made because you truly have and continue to make those steps forward as I believe you will.
Take care.....sorry for the long rant.......
Thank you all. To have so many supportive comments here makes me realise I am not alone in this, and that maybe I am not the horrible person M is portraying me as in her emails (and to members of her team - I know this from comments my CPN has made.) It's too hard battling CMHT on top of everything else, so I am giving up on them, much as I hate abandoning something which I fought so hard to get. Thanks for the reminders of your support, and for all the perceptive comments and reminders it is not just me experiencing such crappy mental health "service".
Post a Comment