Today has been a day of recovery, trying set my new attitudes in solid foundations. I have felt so tired all day. Part of it, I recognised from the start, is a side effect from the medications I am on. The larger dose of Trazodone has a very sedative effect, as is intended. However, now is clearly not the time to be tinkering around with my meds!
However, it wasn't till I was discussing it with H that I realised part of it is reaction to yesterday's meetings. I underestimate how much emotional experiences can affect me physically. Yet again I am forced to recognise how I need time to recuperate and recover physically. So today has been a very uneventful day; I did meet a friend for a cuppa this morning, and collected the girls from school this afternoon, but have done very little apart from that.
I'm now starting to think about how I need to change when I do return to school. How does my behaviour need to change? What changes do I need to continue to work on to my attitudes and reactions? This is my next challenge.
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5 comments:
thst's really big challenge - please be gentle with yourself, both in the process and the implementing. and ask for help - you're not alone in this struggle caroline, you're really not.
virtual hug from here
xc
it really IS a big challenge - and you've already gone through enough. The hard hard work you've done just by getting through the meeting (let alone what you've had to do in the lead up to it) will have been exhausting, so do rest along with challenging yourself.
OK< I'm taking this on baord big time. It's a reality check - and I can see, rereading what I wrote, that I am in danger of going into overdrive where I need to go slow. I think what I want to do is find ways to do less - that's what i mean by changing my behaviour, because my actions for so long have focused on doing everything perfectly. I want to care less, to worry less - those are the sorts of attitudes which need to change. But you are both right - I need to go easy on myself and ask for help and remember to rest. Thank you both.
Have just read these back to back but in the wrong order... I didn't need to say to take care of you and remember to rest - you'd already said it... hugs, x
uneventful can be very good
like a lay by during a long journey
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