Tuesday, 13 March 2007

Where are you?

I'm all grown up
But somehow, it feels like I'm pretending
Visions of my younger years, they are buried
But the scenes that play inside of me, are impending
They are never ending...

Where, where, where, where, where are you?
You don't have to look out that window, anymore.
You can just come back to yourself, you can come back to this world.
Where are you? Tell me who heard you. And where are you?

Such a quiet secret, it hurt too much trying hard to keep it.
Oh, and I looked up to you... I wanted so much to believe in you.
I wanted so much for you to believe it me.
Oh I tried, I tried.

(Wilson Phillips)

5 comments:

The Harbour of Ourselves said...

that brings back memories...and is very poignant

Disillusioned said...

It feels so like me it is uncanny.

Kathryn said...

Now I'm weeping for all of you. It seems so unfair.

Caroline said...

hug

Disillusioned said...

Thank you.

The dissociation element is so weird and so frightening. I know I do it to escape emotions I feel overwhelming, but when I return, I feel so disoriented, and so disbelieving that i have have allowed it to happen again. It's tied up with not being allowed to show negative emotions while a child - so I guess dissociating has become my way of avoiding those emotions. However, perversely there is another element to it; sometimes inner parts of me emerge to express those emotions, and that can lead to some very overwhelming experiences.

Thanks for the acceptance, the sympathy and the hugs.